Due to some silent decree, eye-contact on the Metro is a whole cultural taboo— it’s like ordering tea with sugar in Japan or demanding an executive say over your lady parts in Sudan (Japan too, I suppose, although considering their declining birth rate, I’m guessing no one really gives two fucks about lady parts at all).
So when your treating adjacent patrons like hostile ostriches who’s gazes you must avoid lest they turn you into a debutante’s sex toy, your eyes tend to wander … Not to their boobs, you aren’t that bold, but to the little indicators that might suggest that they’re real people: an Obama button, a jacket that isn’t theirs, a ketchup stain (the placement of which all too telling about their feasting posture)…
Being a pawn monkey myself, my eyes always catch jewelry. Nugget ring with a 2 carat diamond on the old man with a oak/ brass cane (an old-school gentlemen’s accent), yellow Celtic screw-backs earrings on the sleeping spinster beside me (a gift from her daughter who’s studying foreign relations in Edinburgh), a white gold crucifix on the fourteen-year-old Aryan squinting at the Metro map.
Seeing these luxuries in such an urban staple, makes you wonder if sentimentality trumps any kind of reverent over-protection. Buying things specifically to officiate status versus expense that serves as symbols of respect, thought, obligation, love? Emotion casualizing what is sacred… relationships transpiring contexts where all objective value is rendered moot?
Yes, unfortunately your girlfriend has forgotten to pay for her phone bill so your day has been awfully Leah-light: no text messages, no mid-work phone calls, and who knows if she’ll pick-up the landline and give you a ring when the clock strikes Nueve? So uncomfortable living in such ambivalent times, isn’t it— how indecisive, how impulsive, how irresponsible your baby is. She can drive you crazy, never takes anything seriously, and who knows if anything she does is real? How can you stand it? :p
Personally, I can’t stand it— it’s so hard to stand when you’re falling (CORN ALERT!) and when it comes to you, it’s like everything above is rendered moot. Impusive? The only compulsion that comes to mind now is the need to hold you, touch you, dedicate every breath to making you happy. Indecisive? I’ve decided to spend the rest of my life with you. Irresponsible? When we’re together it’s as if every heart beat is a response to this new reason for living.
You are the most loving, considerate, and passionate person I have ever met and I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have fallen for you. They say if you fall far enough, you can’t tell the difference between it and flying and heaven and hell become mere suggestions, in it’s place an infinite array of possibility. No good or bad, no up or down, just you and me and eternity.
Your Ever-Loving Girlfiend
I love you. :)